The Importance To Believe In Myself And Know Whom I Really Am
We all have been told that changes must start in ourselves. That we should fix ourselves first before we criticize others or before we even try to give pieces of advice that we believe are effective based on our own experience and knowledge. And knowing what has to be changed comes after knowing oneself. Unfortunately we usually are not courageous enough to look deep within to see who we really are and what we are made of unless we are forced to adapt to changes. My personal experience will help explain my point of view as following. I have been an accounting majored student for five semesters, and over the course of my stay I have grown and learned more that I thought possible. Before I choose accounting major, I didn’t know what I’m going to do for living or if I will be interested in accounting. On top of major choice, I also have to face the fact that I need to graduate from a completely English speaking university. With challenges after challenges, I was feared by leaving from my comfort zone and faced with adventures ahead. I had taken numerous English courses and though I knew nothing about what was waiting for me and had no confidence to talk to strangers in English. I have become to realize that my introversion was playing a vital part in my perception. What I was fear is the change of environment and expectable communication in my second language which I was not familiar with. But I’m also a judger from some lever, and when come to decisions, I like moving on hastily and leave no chance to reopen my past decision. Therefore I decided to overcome my introversion and be open to changes.
Of course what was waiting for me could be bad experience but it also could be good experience from different angle of evaluation. Going through the constitution of my personality has taught me so much more than technical stuff about English and my majored courses, it has taught me how to be me. I have learned how to write and express myself, how to think for myself, and how to find the answers to the things that I don't know. Most importantly I have learned how important to understand myself. After I came to America, my learning experience enhanced my understanding towards myself. I’ll take my organization behaviour course as an example to explain the development of my reflection. I have always been a thinker, but throughout my coursework, I have greatly sharpened my critical analysis skills. Instead of focusing on proposed meanings or biographical background, I have learned to continuously ask 'why' on many different levels. I began to challenge myself to dig into a text as deeply as possible and unpack every detail to develop a satisfying conclusion of critical thinking. Also, by reading multiple chapters of textbook I have learned to identify different definitions as well as terms and make connections that weave a condition or situation to involve cases together; this helped me develop a deeper understanding of how different people in an organisation could function as whole. When I look at one of my freshman level textbooks and see clean pages, I realize that I did not actively read the book. My judger part rushed me to the end for previous courses. Now I have learned to be a perceiver during the course and leave my options open to perceive new possibilities and processes as long as possible. Although I still care for grades of courses but I also value my learning experience gained from the process of finishing assignment and preparing for exams. I become prone to analysis instead of running for the destination. Intuitive had always been one of my strengths, but it was challenging to practice it for course study. I pride myself on seeing possibilities and I take my Intuition as a perceiving mode of consciousness filters experience through the unconscious mind.
However, critical thinking class requests adequate and solid evidence to support my every conclusion, which forces me to greatly open my mind and focus of facts as well. My thoughts are now able to be more complex because I have learned how to sustain a logical argument in an organized manner. My writing has become increasingly more concise and I no longer have room for added 'fluff' or 'padding.' Another improvement is my ability to point out multiple complexities within a text, instead of sticking to one-sided arguments in my papers. Furthermore, learning how to locate the part of my personality has significantly widened the scope of my critical thinking, which has led to more analytical deduction than illogical thinking. My learning experience is so much more interesting than it used to be. Not so many among us had known or understood how I felt and my experience appeared random and unsupported. If I had not made a decision to study abroad, it would not have happened. But the benefits of figuring out who I am through experiences do not end with my self-discovery. Sometimes what I expect I would do and what I actually do are completely different, which has become a really good thing for myself. I’m much deeper and complex than I realize. I am always open and prepared to explore how my personality could affect my decision and actions afterwards. It’s a never-ending process. And ultimately, it takes a lifetime.