Tell Me About Yourself Essay: My Eating Disorder

I never realised how much an eating disorder could control your life, until I had one. I want you to envision a time where you really, truly felt ashamed of who you were. A moment where the people surrounding you didn't get it, and more than anything, you wish the earth would just open up and swallow you whole. A moment where you look in the mirror and it laughs in your face. Though I wouldn't portray it as a literal voice in my head, my eating disorder started with a feeling that I wasn't good enough. A fed up feeling of wondering why no one else could see what i could. I remember getting forced to eat and crying, wiping my eyes with the trembling back of a hand. I remember the wails and shrieks that came from my stomach every night as I lay in my bed thinking about how unable I was to love the way I looked. Waking up everyday knowing that I would be losing weight filled me with adrenaline. Then I realised something. I was addicted. I chose to write tell me about yourself essay to show my story with an eating disorder. Hope that this kind of telling about yourself essay will help someone to feel better or, at least, not so lonely.

“Just eat, it's not that hard”. Those were the words I abhorred the most. It was like it was a command, perhaps an instruction. I felt as if people had eyes in the back of their heads, scrutinizing me like a hawk at every move I made. Don't they see I'm trying my best? Despite the fact I would ponder constantly whether or not to consume my food, I settled on eating it. I was as perturbed as a mouse trying not to be seized by the monstrous mouse trap, afraid of what was in store for me in the foreseeable future. Were people's perspectives on me going to modify or alter? I would never apprise anyone on how I felt, held captive by my own emotions. Within how would you describe yourself essay I also want to write about my recovery. Recovering from this challenging time was tough. I felt as if the food was roaring at me like a lion, compelling me to restrain against ingesting it. I felt as if someone was overtowering my presence, Making sure I shunned food at every contingency I got. My eating disorder was substantial, Never failing to make me convey food negatively, shepherding me to the edge of my patience. The main thing I considered was the people encompassing me, the people who without a doubt, loved me. Taking a greater glance around I began to see the inconsolability I was causing to them. I still loathed my body but I wanted to get better for them. Better for myself. When your mind is focused on only one thing and one thing only, it's hard to just switch up or forget about that thing. But I was willing to do it. As time passed it got more straightforward. I didn't want it to be a situation which could not be reversed, like the earth pulling me under. Because I don't think I had ever corralled a situation which could not be reversed. In the end it was all worth it.

Looking back at it now I realise, just because the mirror is telling you one thing doesn't mean it's true. When you have an unhealthy relationship with food, your mind manipulates you. I felt trapped for far too long, held captive by my own preoccupation with the number displayed on the bathroom scale. On particularly dark days it appeared to glow brighter than the hope in my heart. Staring at it had the same effect as an eclipse, overshadowing any redeeming quality about myself. It was absurd that something so powerless when I removed the batteries could have so much administration over my brain and how I lived my life. But that flashing number ensnared me into thinking things that were not true about myself, what I am worth, and what I have to offer the world. Skip 6 months is where I am today. I learned the recovery process isn't an unfluctuating, perfect thing. There are ups and downs. Recovery isn't about making sure you never fall; it's a sincere commitment to getting back up. Truthfully there's still times the voice in the back of my head whispers unnecessary things like “you should be skinnier” or 'you were better the way you were '. But I managed to pull through and stop myself from falling deep into the void of nothingness. I do not regret my decision, as it makes me content, knowing the people around me stopped worrying. Or at least about me. Recovery was my personal commitment to me to grasp the joy in my life. It was about counting the moments instead of calories. It was about lifting my gaze from the number on the sombre scales and appreciating the beauty that surrounded me. It was about coming to the realisation that I am part of that beauty myself. It was about me finally being able to appreciate my self worth and that I am perfect the way I am. It was about me being able to say to myself if we all ate the same and exercised the same, we would still look completely different. It was about me realising what a privilege it is to have a body, to breathe, to walk, to be me. 

I didn't manage to write both describe yourself in 200 words essay and 300 words essay about myself, so then it's maybe 3 paragraph essay about yourself. Overall, I want to end up with a phrase that the hope in my heart finally glows brighter than the scale. I never realised how much an eating disorder could control your life, until I didnt have one.